i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
