her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Is it penis luge time yet?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
