direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
