So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
