dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
