She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
No subtext here. People are naked.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
