Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
