dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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