shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Im part way to drunk.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
