the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I could fuck to npr.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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