It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
