We're like a lot better than the average bears
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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