fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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