i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My breasts were aching with rage.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
