Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
