If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
