please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
