You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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