That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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