saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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