i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
