just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
