I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
