New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
