Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
