I love black thongs
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
