The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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