You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
