Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
