They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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