she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
my poor anus
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
