can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
