You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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