So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
