worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
