it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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