I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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