ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Duck Duck Cougar?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Randomize
