david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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