i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize