Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
