I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
