So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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