Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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