He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
