did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
