I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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