hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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