I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
