Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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