You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
