Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
