Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
this is an emotional support booty call
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
