Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
