it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
