you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
