Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
