Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I am naked and annoyed.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
