Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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