it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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