Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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