So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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