It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I still have a little drunk in my system
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
