is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
