READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
