one two three fourrrrnication!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize