i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
